Living in the High.

I have stopped smoking weed almost 4 months ago now and I´m still waiting longingly for the big change. Which one? I have no idea. For 8 years I have consumed that stuff.

Whether after work, or after school, the first thing I did was appreciatively smoking a joint. On the weekend I started already after the breakfast, on some days it was even my breakfast. If you are high, however, everything is more fun. For hours I could listen to music, make regular discoveries within myself, or sometimes spontaneously met with friends to smoke a joint. Especially the writing while on weed was a great passion of mine. You feel like you breathe life into the words, dive into another world, and suddenly you are only you, with a pen and the paper.

At some point I connected everything to weed

At some point I connected everything to weed. Going to the movie theater? Sure, let’s smoke one before that, then the movie is more fun. A sunny day? Let’s chill in the park, with a spliff in one hand and a coffee in the other. The big drawback was that when I smoked I was constantly tired, sometimes had no energy for nothing and as a woman, the dark circles under my eyes did not please me. But I just like to linger in my own small cosmos and have a little peace with me for a moment. But I always knew, as soon as you exaggerate and things become a habit, it’s not a good sign.

Weed is a consciousness-expanding „drug“ yet the question is, do you use the weed or does it use you.

If you eat a whole pie every day instead of one piece, you will become fat. If you drink every day, you become an alcoholic, if you smoke every day, you start to loose brain cells and the high will be your reality. Weed is a consciousness-expanding „drug“, but the question is, do you use the weed or does it use you. One can certainly be deeper in some things and nevertheless become dull in other things. So I decided to face reality and look at how things are, while not being constantly high. It was much easier than I expected. The first days I sweated when I slept, but that was my only side effect. But since I have stopped smoking, I’ve been bored a lot more and I realized that I have a hole in me, which I must fill. This was never real to me since it was filled with smoke.

When I walk through the streets and sniff weed somewhere I think, Yammi.

When I walk through the streets and sniff weed, I think, Yammi, but that’s it. My desire for weed is no longer so strong, even if I sometimes think, now a joint, yes, that would be fine. But that is probably the habit. At some point I will certainly be able to enjoy a joint again, but the time has not yet come. I love weed but I never want to smoke again every day and shape my whole life after my weed consumption.

What are your experiences? Write me the pros and contras in the comments. I’m curious.